Five of the weirdest games of all time

Jake Hughes
May 10, 2018 - 1:45 pm

(Image Courtesy of Dreamstime)

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Video games have been around for a long time. Long enough that the medium is no longer considered, by most anyway, to be just a child’s plaything. There are even some that consider games to be a form of art. With games like Ico, The Last of Us, and God of War, it can be said that games have evolved.

These are not those games.

For every great, artistic venture video games embark on, there are at least a dozen content to sit around with their fart and wiener jokes. I’m talking about games that are just plain… weird. These games may not be bad, per se, but they most definitely will make you say, “… okay, what?”

Icarus Proudbottom and the Curse of the Chocolate Fountain

Speaking of fart jokes, let’s start with this delightful little romp from indie publishers Holy Wow Games. You play as the eponymous Icarus, a young man who, on his way to a five dollar Chinese buffet, was hit by a truck full of laxatives, and cursed to forever more, well, poop his pants. In fact, he does so with such regularity and force that it propels him through the sky. The game pits you against hapless geese, neo-Nazis in WWI airplanes, and Former President Barack Obama. No, I’m not kidding. You fight Apache helicopter-flying Barack Obama with a samurai sword whilst crapping your pants. Fun for the whole family!

Seaman

The Dreamcast itself was weird, when you think about it. It occupies an odd place in gaming history, where it was a commercial flop, had few games, and yet is remembered as one of the best consoles ever. Well, by fan boys, at least. One of the more, hmm, interesting games was this one, where you are tasked with raising a “Seaman,” which is a fish with a human face. Yeah, remember that sight gag from Monty Python and the Meaning of Life? Now you have to raise him. But beyond the creepy fish-man-thing, the oddest part is that you interact with said abomination under God’s eyes via the Dreamcast’s microphone attachment. He would even curse at you if you cursed at him. And then he would evolve into a frog. Like you do.

Shaq-Fu

This is just one of the ones where it’s like, “What were they thinking?!” You play as the titular basketball player who has been taken to an alternate dimension where he must rescue a young boy from an evil mummy by way of Kung-Fu battles. Get it? Shaq? Kung-Fu? Shaq-Fu? Ah-ha, ah-ha, ah-ha. To the surprise of precisely no one, the game sucked, with some of the worst hit detection in fighting game history, and a roster of awful fighters. There’s even a website dedicated to eradicating every copy from existence. I wish them Godspeed on their journey, but let us pray they never find out about Shaq’s acting career…

Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker

What is it with celebrity game tie-ins and saving children? Well, it is Michael Jackson, so we might know why he wants to “rescue” children. This time, you’re fighting real life gangsters instead of otherworldly creatures. Except for the zombie level, because of course there’s a zombie level. You dispatch foes with a stylish combination of dance moves, all to the tune of some of the King of Pop’s best songs. You can even activate a super move where all the enemies on screen join you in a big musical number. But here’s my question: if they went through all that trouble to license Jackson’s music, why didn’t they play Thriller when you make the zombies dance?!

Who’s Your Daddy?

This one has the added benefit of not only being weird, but also gleefully dark. It’s a two player game: Player One takes up the role of Daddy. Your mission is simply to protect your infant child. You move objects, baby proof the apartment, and in general try and be a good dad. Player Two? Well, they control the baby. Your mission? Die as quickly as possible. There are pills to swallow, light sockets to stick forks into, tubs to swim in, and even ovens to climb inside. The whole thing is an exercise in the absurd, but it makes for a surprisingly decent 1v1 game. If your sense of humor has been sufficiently darkened, this might provide a few hours of entertainment, and it's only five bucks on Steam.